He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize