Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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