well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize