I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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