I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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