I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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