so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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