Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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