No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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