You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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