With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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