This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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