He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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