I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
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Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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