Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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