I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
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Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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