What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
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Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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