guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize