Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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