I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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