They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize