i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize