he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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