So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize