so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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