Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize