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You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
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