I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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