you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize