i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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