He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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