Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize