What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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