Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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