What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize