Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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