I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
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part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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