You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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