Me too!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You ruined the universe
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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