you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize