Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize