Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
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well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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