you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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