i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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