She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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