Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize