she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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