I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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