woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
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Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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