What did we do last night that was yellow?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize